Godparent
by unknown20troper
Summary: Fairy Idol AU. Jorgen discovers Timmy in Fairy World and wipes Timmy's mind. The Pixies attempt to rule the world and only Norm and Chester can stop them! Slight Cosmo/Wanda. COMPLETE
1. Captured!

_**Godparent **_by _unknown20troper_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents_.

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism encouraged. Please _tell _me if anyone is out of character.

**Chapter 1: Captured!**

"Actually fairies are notoriously fast healers!"

Cosmo and Wanda grabbed Timmy and POOFed as Jorgen entered the hospital room, slamming the door aggressively, carrying candy and flowers. Cosmo rushed for them, going "Wheeeee!" Wanda tried to grab him, but he was too fast and she couldn't grab him in time.

Jorgen spotted Cosmo.

"WHY DID YOU HIDE FROM THE ALMIGHTY JORGEN VON STRANGLE?"

"Timmy is in Fairy World and he gave me an apology cookie," said Cosmo.

Timmy face-palmed. Cosmo's idiocy was going to get them in trouble with Jorgen Von Strangle.

"I THOUGHT I ERASED HIS MEMORY!" boomed Jorgen, "DA RULES SAYS WHEN GODPARENTS QUIT, THE GODCHILD'S MEMORY IS ERASED AND ALL MAGICAL ITEMS THAT THEY HAVE EVER CAME IN CONTACT WITH!"

"Timmy said he was sorry," said Cosmo.

"DA RULES DON'T CARE ABOUT SORRY!" boomed Jorgen, "NEITHER DO I!"

"Don't kill us!"

"Cosmo," said Wanda, groaning and rolling her eyes, "We are immortal. Jorgen Von Strangle _can't _kill us."

"And this time…. when I wipe your memory, it'll stay wiped! With this! Extra-Strength Memory Wiper with Forgeticin!" boomed Jorgen, whipping out a pink capsule.

A monotonous male voice started listing the symptoms of Forgeticin and who should not use it.

The Forgeticin flashed.

* * *

Timmy felt woozy and wondered where he was. Was he having a strange dream?

BOOM!

Timmy appeared back in Dimmsdale, in his house, feeling as though he had lost something important. Did his pet die?

Something like that, he supposed. His room had almost nothing in it, not even a bed. Timmy wondered if Vicky had sold his furniture for extra cash. Vicky loved money and only babysitted for cash. He wished that he could strike back at her, but that would just get him in trouble.

* * *

"YOU'RE ABRACATRAZ FOR AIDING THE PUNY HUMAN IN BREAKING DA RULES!" boomed Jorgen.

Cosmo and Wanda blanched.

"But we didn't," protested Wanda, "Timmy did broke Da Rules by himself."

"BUT YOU DIDN'T STOP HIM FROM DOING SO!" boomed Jorgen.

"Oh right," said Wanda.

"Abracatraz," shivered Cosmo, "Not Abracatraz. Its scary there."

"THAT'S THE POINT!" boomed Jorgen.

BOOM!

They appeared at Abracatraz. Cosmo and Wanda trembled in fear. They had escaped magical jails before, but the fact didn't make getting trapped in Abracatraz any less frightening.

Jorgen was so unreasonable when enforcing Da Rules, reflected Wanda, He lacked flexibility and common sense where Da Rules were concerned. She hoped Jorgen would eventually reconsider imprisoning them, but she doubted it.

Cosmo and Wanda both hoped Timmy would be okay without them.


	2. They'll Enslave You All

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly Odd Parents._

**Author's Note: **Concrit welcomed. Anonymous reviews welcomed if they aren't spam or flames. If they are spam or flames, they go deleto-schmeleto.

**Chapter 2: They'll Enslave You All**

The Pixies were disappointed that Sanderson didn't win Fairy Idol. If he won, he could trick his godchild into wishing for the Pixies to rule Earth and Fairy World, making them boring and gray. The Pixies had a back-up plan though.

However, if Timmy had somehow managed to keep his fairies, like he usually did, they wouldn't be able to execute the back-up plan without being stopped by him, like usual.

A Pixie checked the screen of the Timmy-cam. Timmy was in his room, which had almost no furniture. He seemed woozy and the Pixies could see no green or pink objects. However, they knew that Timmy might have hid his fairies under his shirt or something like that.

PING!

The cam acquired the ability to see through stuff. It checked under Timmy's shirt. No fairies. Then the cam trawled the entire length of his house, checking for fairies. It didn't find any.

The cam then went out the door and wandered all around Dimmsdale. Cosmo and Wanda were not anywhere in Dimmsdale.

The cam than shrunk to a miniscule size and PINGed into Fairy World. It entered Mama Cosma's house and Big Daddy's mafia-like garbage business. Cosmo and Wanda weren't there either. It then entered several other places in Fairy World, still not finding them. Once it had scanned every part of Fairy World it could reach, the Pixies were certain that Cosmo and Wanda weren't anywhere that Timmy could reach them.

"Negative on Cosmo and Wanda, HP," droned a Pixie monotonously.

"Prepare to put our plan into action," replied HP, equally monotonously, "We will rule the world and no one will stop us this time."

"Yes, HP," replied all the other Pixies in monotonous chorus.


	3. Grant the Wishes You'd Rather Not

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents_.

**Author's Note: **Concrit welcomed. If anyone is out of character, please _tell _me.

**Chapter 3: Grant the Wishes You'd Rather Not**

The Pixies began the first stage of their plan. They PINGed into unbusinessman-like outfits and appeared in the homes of miserable, godparent-less kids. They knew that most kids wouldn't be eager to have businessman as godparents.

* * *

Tootie looked on shock as a floating man PiNGed into her room.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Bill," said the man monotonously, "Your Pixie godparent."

Tootie wondered why his voice was so monotonous. Did he not want to be her godparent?

"What's a Pixie?"

"A Pixie is a wish-granting magical creature with a naturally monotonous voice," said Bill, "I can be your godparent if you just sign this contract."

* * *

The Pixies weren't actually going to become actual godparents. Instead, they were going to pretend. Da Rules said nothing about impersonating a fairy godparent.

PING!

A contract appeared.

"What do godparents do?"

"Godparents grant the wishes of miserable kids like you," said Bill, "Pixies aren't the only species of magical creature that godparent. Fairies do too, though they are very choosy. You are miserable, yet they rejected you. They rejected many kids."

Bill then showed her videos of unhappy kids, some of them being kids starving in Africa, some secretly rebellious rich kids, some with other types of unhappiness. All those kids had no godparents, fairy or Pixie, he explained to Tootie. He then showed Norm being assigned to Chester, despite the fact that Chester didn't need infinite wishes to be happy and other miserable kids did. He showed Chester destroying the world with his wishes, with the parts showing his good intentions purposely edited out.

"Why do fairies do this?"

"To make kids happy," said Bill.

Bill then showed Tootie a video of Timmy without his fairies.

"They denied Timmy fairies?" said Tootie outraged.

"Yes," lied Bill, "But you can help protect him from Vicky if you sign this contract."

* * *

Tootie signed the contract. She hated Vicky and wanted Timmy badly. Protecting him from Vicky would endear her to him and would save them both from Vicky.

* * *

All over the Earth, other Pixies did the same thing for other miserable, godparent-less kids. Some were quicker to sign the contract than others.

Stage one of the Pixies' plan was complete! Stage two was ready to go into action! Timmy hadn't stopped them yet.


	4. Should've Told

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents_.

**Author's Note: **Concrit welcomed. If anyone is out of character, _tell _me.

**Chapter 4: Should've Told**

"But wait! The world's top scientists have gathered to give us an announcement! We're saved!"

"We have great hair," said AJ, "We don't care about thinking anymore. We can get girls."

The other scientists babbled about girls.

"Who caused this catastrophe?"

"I did," cried Chester in despair.

Chester wondered why Norm didn't tell him about the disastrous results of the wishes. Did he not know? Chester didn't think that was probable. Chester pressed the pager that Norm had POOFed up for him.

POOF!

Norm arrived in a bubble bath, with cucumber slices over his eyes.

"What is it?"

"Why didn't you tell me that my wishes would put the world in danger?" asked Chester angrily, "I wish you would tell the truth."

POOF!

"So I can't say that I didn't know," said Norm, "Because I did know."

"Did you want to endanger the world?"

"No," said Norm, "Certainly not Egypt and the North Pole," then he muttered, "But Canada. Sure."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought that if your wishes went wrong, ya'd just unwish them," said Norm, "That's the last thing humans always wish for anyway. Also, I just wanted to chill out, have fun. Help the world?"

Norm collapsed in a fit of laughter.

"Not funny," said Chester.

Norm stopped mid-laugh.

"I wish it didn't rain in Egypt, the North Pole wasn't hot and that bald guys would not have great hair," said Chester.

POOF!

It stopped raining in Egypt, the North Pole re-froze and the bald guys lost their great hair.

"What'll ya wish for now? A puppy?" asked Norm, "Don't try to help the world again, 'cause you are as bad at helping the world as fish are at riding bicycles."

Chester winced at the jibe. Since he had wished Norm would tell the truth, he knew Norm was right.

"No," said Chester, "I don't want a puppy."

* * *

Norm POOFed to Hawaii to have fun, since he knew Chester wouldn't be wishing for anything else soon.

Chester got back on his magic carpet and flew to his trailer. His dad greeted him excitedly. He was glad that his dad cared about him, even if his godparent didn't.

Norm was enjoying his time in Hawaii. It had women that showed a lot of skin and delivered him coconut milk and other exotic drinks. No godkids or masters bugging him to grant their wishes.

He was glad that he had finally succeeded in getting revenge on Turner. No longer would he have to be bugged by Turner's mere happiness. He had taken it from Turner and gained his own.

However, Norm didn't like the sound of Trackster Teeth's "tell the truth" wish. What if Trackster Teeth asked him about Turner? What would he do then?

He could buy Forgeticin from some Fairy World shop and use it to forget all his memories of Turner. However, it would also erase his memories of winning Fairy Idol and several other important things. If didn't remember those events, he might make terrible mistakes and not know why he was godparenting Trackster Teeth. He could buy it and use it to erase Trackster Teeth's memory of Turner, but he would also have to erase other people's memories to keep up the illusion. Also, since no one ever paid him for granting their wishes (godparenting was also done for free), he had no money and it was against Da Rules to POOF any up.

Norm groaned. Just like humans, to ruin his fun with their wishes.

He doubted he'd be able to get Trackster Teeth to unwish his "tell the truth" wish. Asking him to take it off would just raise suspicion from Trackster Teeth. An innocent fairy wouldn't ask their godchild to remove a "tell the truth" wish, except in extenuating circumstances.

So what could he do?

Norm supposed that Crockpot would suggest making Turner invisible and inaudible so no one would notice him or something strange like that. Norm _knew _that wouldn't work. People would wonder what happened to Turner. That would definitely prompt Trackster Teeth to mention Turner.

Next, Norm considered somehow making Turner ill. No, Trackster Teeth might wonder why Turner was ill and it might be against Da Rules.

Norm decided that staying quiet would be a better way to avoid mentions of Turner than trying to do anything to Turner or anyone else. Norm supposed if worst came to worst and Trackster Teeth did ask him about Turner, he could just say that Turner lost his godparents, without getting into the whys and the hows.


	5. Escape From Abracatraz

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents_.

**Chapter 5: Escape from Abracatraz**

The Pixies looked down at Abracatraz. Five hundred or more prisoners were imprisoned there. Some were fairy criminals, others were Anti-Fairies, some were leprechauns that refused to give up their gold when it was taxing time, as well as several other species of magical creatures.

And the Pixies were going to bust them all out, to cause chaos in Fairy World, so they could replace the fairy godparents that Jorgen called to help fix the mess.

Hundreds of PINGs occurred at once, making it sound like a primitive video game.

Bazookas appeared in the hands of all the prisoners, regardless of their species.

* * *

Cosmo and Wanda were shocked to see bazookas PING into their hands. Why were the Pixies giving them bazookas?

"Yay, bazooka!" cried Cosmo in glee, shooting the bazooka, destroying his cell.

Wanda rolled her eyes. Sometimes Cosmo acted like a kid with a new toy, instead of a mature adult. But after ten thousand years, she was used to it.

Wanda blasted her own cell, but with less excitement and more control than Cosmo. She realized that the Pixies had gave her and Cosmo the perfect opportunity to get back to Timmy.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo wondered why the bazooka had appeared in his hand. Who was trying to aid his efforts to escape? Since, it went PING when it appeared, he guessed the Pixies, but that made no sense. The Pixies were the opposite of the Anti-Fairies. They were order and the Anti-Fairies were chaos.

But order could come from chaos. That was how the universe was formed after all. Maybe the Pixies were using the chaos of the Anti-Fairies and other prisoners to create their own ordered, boring world. Maybe they were just exploiting them for their own needs, not out of any sense of goodwill.

So, Anti-Cosmo refused to use his bazooka, despite the fact his wife, Anti-Wanda, and all his subjects had escaped already. If he escaped, he guessed that the Pixies would make the world boring and Jorgen would trap them in a harder-to-escape prison. Anti-Cosmo did not want to take that risk. His Fairy of course, was quite the risk-taker and if hypothetically he were imprisoned in Abracatraz, Anti-Cosmo would bet five shillings that he had already escaped.

Anti-Cosmo didn't care too much about the other criminals, but he did care about himself and Anti-Wanda. Cosmo's fagilly gland had given him some kindness, but not much. Only enough to make him care more about Anti-Wanda and almost, but not quite care about some other Anti-Fairies. Anti-Cosmo guessed that probably meant Cosmo had become cruel to Wanda and some other people Cosmo knew. That was how opposites worked.

* * *

The Pixies looked on in the Pixie version of glee at the prisoners' escape. Timmy had stopped them yet. He was out of action after all.

Then, one of the Pixies spotted a pink fairy and a green fairy. Cosmo and Wanda. They might find Timmy and foil their plan.

He PINGed up a butterfly net and PINGed next to Wanda. Better to remove the smarter threat first. The Pixie wondered why fairies always stopped struggling when they got trapped in butterfly nets. Didn't they still have wings, hands and feet? They could take off their crown or get out their wand and use them to try to destroy the net. If they were in the air, they could just fly out of the net. Apparently being trapped in a butterfly net made you incapable of logical thought.

* * *

"Von Strangle," said Binky Abdul nervously, fearing a blast, "The prisoners have escaped from Abracatraz!"

"THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" yelled Jorgen, "ABRACATRAZ IS INESCAPABLE!"

"No it isn't, sir," said Binky, stuttering with fright.

Jorgen looked at the TV screen showing Abracatraz. Yes. They had escaped.

"BINKY!"

"Yes sir," said Binky nervously.

"Call the most experienced fairy godparents and the Fairy Army!" boomed Jorgen, "We have a war on our hands."

Jorgen spotted Cosmo escaping and BOOMed near him. He grabbed Cosmo in a death grip and BOOMed up iron shackles. Jorgen would not let any Rule Breakers escape justice, even if the world had bigger problems

He BOOMed Cosmo into the Fairy World Dungeons. Wanda wasn't there, so Cosmo couldn't trick him with a soppy love song in order to escape. Considering that Cosmo had also destroyed Atlantis and several other utopias, causing Jorgen to lose all his stars, Jorgen felt very justified trapping him that way.

* * *

The fairies Jorgen called appeared in his battle planning room.

The Pixies went to their godchildren's homes and offered them the contract. After lots of persuading, more than they had to for the previous children, they accepted.

* * *

Stage two of the Pixie's plan was complete! Stage three was ready to go into action!


	6. The Weird Power of Butterfly Nets

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents_, thought that should be obvious.

**Chapter 6: The Weird Power of Butterfly Nets**

A butterfly net descended on Swizzle.

"Hey," protested the fairy, "Don't touch me, you pointy-headed freak!"

She kicked and hit the butterfly net in her fury.

The Pixie was surprised. He thought fairies never struggled in butterfly nets.

"Hey Pixie-Stixs!" yelled Molly angrily, "No one touches Swizzle–or me for that matter!"

Swizzle was glad that Molly was brave enough to challenge the Pixie, but she worried her godkid would get hurt by the Pixie. Swizzle was quite sure she could handle the situation herself.

"I can handle the Pixie on my own!" shouted Swizzle at Molly, "Just go. Hide! So he doesn't hurt you as well."

"Ya sure?"

"Yeah."

* * *

Molly left the room. Sure, she did want to hurt the Pixie, but Swizzle said she could handle it herself. Swizzle was magical after all. Oh, right. She was trapped in a butterfly net. Fairy magic couldn't work in butterfly nets.

Molly definitely thought if magical creatures could die, the Pixie should go to the bad part of Hades (she assumed since Cupid was the Love Fairy, Hades was probably the Land of the Dead. However, she so did not want to find out. At least not still she was dead. Which she hoped would not be now).

* * *

Irving Schelman feared butterfly nets. Unfortunately, one was descending on him right now. Irving shivered with fright in the net, which was held by a Pixie, and the idea of protesting didn't even occur to him. He was too scared.

Dwight felt as powerless as his fairy did when the butterfly net descended on him. He was just a mortal human kid, what could he do? The Pixie would probably just blast him or if he was unlucky, PING up a harpoon. Dwight feared harpoons. He knew firsthand from a wish he made, what a harpoon felt like going into someone. Ow! Too much.

* * *

The Pixie felt triumphant, though his appearance didn't show it. Pixies weren't biologically capable of showing most emotions and didn't have many to start with in the first place.

Irving was such an easy godparent to catch. He was too frightened to have any fighting spirit at all.

"Your godparent is so weak," jeered the Pixie monotonously, "I will be a better godparent than that wimp."

* * *

Dwight's emotional setting changed from fearful to angry.

"Irving is a great godparent!" yelled Dwight, "And you are just a sick, unfeeling psychopath! I would never be your godkid, even if everyone on Earth abused me–unless they used harpoons!"

"That can be arranged," said the Pixie, in a monotonous yet sinister voice.

PING!

The Pixie magically cloned everyone on Earth and gave them harpoons, which they abused Dwight with.

"Now?" asked the Pixie, PINGing up a contract.

"Yes," gasped Dwight weakly.

PING!

The harpoon-using abusers disappeared.

* * *

Similar events occurred across the Earth, with many different godkids and godparents. Some struggled a lot, some barely struggled and some didn't.

* * *

However, Norm wasn't caught. He was where no one would think to look for a fairy godparent. The adults' only theme park underneath Adrenal Land. On a date with a beautiful dame.

He didn't know that the Pixies would be capturing fairy godparents. He just wanted to have fun instead of being with his godkid, Chester a.k.a Trackster Teeth.

* * *

Stage three of the Pixies' plan was complete! Stage four was ready to go into action!


	7. Timmy's Unofficial Helper

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly Odd Parents._

**Author's Note: **Concrit welcome. Please tell me if anyone is out of character.

**Chapter 7: Timmy's Unofficial Helper**

Tootie was very eager to go to school the next day. She wanted to begin helping Timmy immediately, to make up for his lack of godparents (and maybe even get him to like her.)

"The twerpette is smiling," growled Vicky, "When you are back from school, you need to do my chores."

"Yes, Vicky," groaned Tootie.

She knew she could just wish herself out of her chores with her Pixie wishes, so Vicky threatening her with chores didn't bother her a wit.

* * *

Later at school, Tootie got out her Timmy-Tracker. It said Timmy was in the hallway, at his locker.

"I wish I was at Timmy's locker."

PING!

Tootie appeared there.

* * *

Timmy was surprised to see her appear so fast. Was she a ninja or something?

* * *

"Time for your daily beating, Turner!"

Francis!

Tootie wouldn't let Francis hurt Timmy, not on her watch, not when she had magic.

"I wish Francis lived in France," said Tootie impulsively, since that was the first thing she could think of, "And was incapable of learning French until he became nicer."

PING!

Francis appeared in France. The French looked in disgust upon the grey bully.

* * *

Timmy gazed around in confusion. What the heck happened to Francis? Well, he didn't care. That was one less misery for him anyway.

* * *

It was time for class. Mr. Crocker, the teacher frequently bullied Timmy. But not on Tootie's watch. Crocker spazzed about fairy godparents, like he usually did. How was that supposed to help them learn?

As Crocker talked about being a cat burglar but not sure what to do with the cats, Tootie got an idea.

"I wish Crocker was a cat," said Tootie.

PING!

Crocker became a cat.

* * *

Timmy looked at the cat in confusion. What happened to Crocker? Why was the cat there? On second thought, he didn't care.

"Yay!" shouted Chester, "No school!"

* * *

Crocker supposed that he became a cat because Tootie got GODPARENTS and decided to use them to protect TURNER, who lost his FAIRY GODPARENTS! He did a cat spaz, yowling like crazy.

* * *

Tootie giggled.

Waxelplax sent in a substitute, a nice, kind, unthreatening substitute that Tootie felt no need to do anything to because they weren't being mean to Timmy.

* * *

Chester was dismayed that there was going to be school after all. He missed AJ. Why did AJ have to go to Harvard for two weeks?

His hand strayed near the pager. Maybe he could use Norm to go see AJ at Harvard.

Chester then was swamped by memories of his failed attempts to "help" the world and Norm's taunts. Maybe, he'd just mess this up too.

* * *

Tootie was elated when the school day finally finished. She could protect Timmy from Vicky now!

"I wish I was invisible," said Tootie to Bill.

PING!

Unseen, Tootie followed Timmy to his house. Tootie supposed no one could call it stalking or creepy if they couldn't see her and she actively helped Timmy, instead of just looking gooey-eyed at him. She felt guilty that she couldn't have protected Timmy from Vicky when they came to stay at his house.

She entered his house before he closed the door.

"Me and your dad are going to a Do It Yourself Convention," said Timmy's mom, "And we are leaving you with Vicky, who will baby-sit you–by herself!"

"But mom," protested Timmy, "I hate Vicky!"

"Vicky will baby-sit you," said Timmy's dad, "And you interfere with our plans, you will go to your room, with no TV or video games."

"Alright," said Timmy, "I won't interfere."

"Time to baby-sit your precious little gift from above," said Vicky sweetly, using the nice façade she put on in front of parents.

Tootie thought Vicky's sweet tone had a weird dissonance with the piano players playing funeral music behind her.

Timmy's parents left the room quicker than any roadrunner could run, even a cartoon roadrunner.

Vicky got out a flamethrower.

"Do my homework or I'll blast you with this baby!"

"Where'd you get that?"

"Internet," said Vicky, "It's amazing what they sell on Ebay. I wonder if I would be allowed to sell your silly pink hat."

Tootie got an idea.

"I wish all Vicky's possessions were on Ebay, with the starting price of one penny for them all."

PING!

Tootie giggled. Vicky was naked!

"I wish Vicky was wearing a garbage bag. A stinky garbage bag."

PING!

Vicky did not like the new outfit of hers.

"What happened?"

"I wish Timmy had an awesome pizza," said Tootie.

She knew Vicky didn't tend to feed him much.

PING!

* * *

Timmy wondered how the pizza appeared. He ate it hungrily.

* * *

Tootie smiled. She was quite the fairy godparent, was she?

"I wish I was Timmy's fairy godparent."

* * *

Bill was surprised. Tootie was going to ruin the Pixies' plan. Unless…

Bill got out his cell phone and called Head Pixie.

"HP, my godchild wished herself into a fairy. Send a Butterfly Net Squadron to catch her."

PING!

* * *

Tootie came out of a nine-ball in front of Timmy, in his room.

"I'm Tootie and I'm your fairy godparent."

"I'm calling the cops," said Timmy, "Or I'm having a very weird dream. You are a fairy? Godparent?"

Timmy collapsed in a fit of laughter.

Tootie did not like being laughed at.

"Timmy!" yelled Tootie, "Stop it! I want to make you happy."

"Well thanks," said Timmy, "But why do I have déjà vu?"

"I don't know," said Tootie.

Tootie thought about Timmy's question. He had a miserable life before yesterday and you got fairies when you had a miserable life so maybe Timmy used to have fairies.

* * *

Jorgen looked at his screen. Something wasn't adding up. Turner's fairies had quit. Yet the screen said Turner had a fairy and that it was named "Tootie." No fairies named Tootie were officially registered as godparents. Did she become a godparent illegally? Jorgen supposed so.

BOOM!

* * *

"Turner! I did not assign this fairy to you!"

Timmy wondered who the muscled, big army guy was.

"Tootie, you're going to Abracatraz!" boomed the army guy.

Tootie and the army guy BOOMED away.

* * *

A businessman PINGed into the room holding a butterfly net, looked around a bit and PINGed away.

* * *

The Pixies felt full of glee. They had almost won and Turner hadn't stopped them yet. Maybe the universe would be theirs.


	8. Proposition

**Disclaimer: **I am not Butch Hartman.

**Chapter 8: Proposition **

The Pixies continued pretending to godparent their godchildren. Clones of the Timmy-cam were PINGed up to record the godparenting. When the Pixies thought they had enough, they PINGed in to Jorgen.

"Mr. Von Strangle," said HP, "While the fairy godparents were busy, we godparented their kids instead, as well as the kids you never assigned fairy godparents to. Sanderson, play the disc."

Sanderson inserted the disc of godparenting videos and photos.

Jorgen was shocked by how well the Pixies godparented the kids. They never messed up or caused disaster. Da Rules said wish granting was to be done by whichever species does it best. The Pixies did it best.

"Fairies are not to godparent any more!" Jorgen boomed, "Pixies are the new godparenting species!"

Jorgen than pressed the button that recalled all godparents that were currently on duty.

BOOM!

Only Norm appeared.

"YOU ARE FIRED!" boomed Jorgen.

* * *

Fired? He couldn't be. If he were fired, he'd become enslaved to humans again. Norm sure as heck didn't want that to happen!

"Why?" asked Norm, "Are godparents not allowed to spend time away from their godkids?"

"THE PIXIES ARE BETTER GODPARENTS THAN FAIRIES ARE!"

"Hey, hey, wait a sec," said Norm, "The _Pixies_? Those no-fun accountants are better godparents than fairies are? I think I need to clean out my ears."

"YES!"

"And you are firing me because of that?"

"YES!"

"Well, Jarhead," said Norm, "Sanderson _lost_ Fairy Idol. Guess who won Fairy Idol?"

Norm sang, "ME, ME, ME!"

"SO!"

"The Pixies can't be the new godparents," said Norm.

"Da Rules say wish granting is to be done by whichever species does it best."

"Show me!" challenged Norm.

Jorgen BOOMed Da Rules into the room, opened to the page that Rule was written on.

"Alright," said Norm, "It's a Rule. But where's your proof that the Pixies do it best?"

Jorgen showed him the Pixies' disc. Norm noticed how well the Pixies were granting wishes, yet didn't mention it.

"SEE!" boomed Jorgen, "THERE'S YOUR PROOF!"

"Ever heard of photo doctoring? Video editing?" inquired Norm, "What makes ya so sure these video and photos are real?"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

"Okay," said Norm sarcastically, "Why did I even bother asking?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"Are you aware that you just answered a rhetorical question?"

"NO!"

"How can the Pixies be better at granting wishes than I am?" asked Norm, "I have been granting wishes since I was in nappies and those Pixies have done business stuff all day twenty-four seven since they were created, rarely granting any wishes at all. How'd they get their ten thousand hours?"

Jorgen didn't reply.

"Alright, Jarhead," said Norm, "I have a proposition for you."

"WHAT?"

"Give me two weeks to prove I can godparent Chester better than any dull, pointy-headed freak can," said Norm, "If I fail, you can fire me. If I don't fail, I keep my job. 'Kay Jarhead?"

"ALRIGHT!" Jorgen, "ONLY TWO WEEKS! NO MORE!"

Norm left in a POOF.

* * *

The Pixies were shocked that Norm was almost ruining their plans. The insolent fairy/genie hybrid might be the death knell of their plans. They might not manage to rule the world after all.

However, HP had a back-up plan. He called all the Pixies on his magic cell phone.

"Employees, I want the most magically adept of you to mess up the wishes granted by Norm the Fairy/Genie Hybrid."

"Yes sir."

* * *

Norm the Fairy/Genie Hybrid interfered with stage four, but HP was sure that Norm couldn't beat them. Norm was only a filthy genie, he could be dealt with easily, HP was sure.


	9. Sorry?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the show.

* * *

**Chapter 9: Sorry?**

Norm groaned at the thought of constantly being at Traintrack Teeth's side, not having any fun at all. However, if he didn't, he'd be enslaved in a fortnight. If he were enslaved, he'd never have any fun at all ever.

He appeared in a POOF in front of him.

"What are you here for?' asked Metal Mouth in confusion, "Gonna tell me how useless I am again?"

Norm was shocked. Metal Mouth had sure taken his jibe seriously. Over fifty thousand years, Norm had wittily insulted many masters, fairies and other living beings. He had never thought too much about the emotional impact, other than that they didn't like it and, he loved how it annoyed them; how even if he was enslaved, he still had enough power over them to upset them.

Some masters just ignored his taunts though, because to them Norm might as well be the dirt under their shoe or the lice in their hair.

Metal Mouth had remembered the jibe for a couple days or so and had taken it completely seriously. No master remembered an insult that long. Norm had no clue why that jibe had stuck so long with Metal Mouth.

"Nope," said Norm, "I don't feel like messing with your self-esteem today."

"Is that what you were doing?" asked Metal Mouth, "Messing with my self-esteem? You told me that I'm not capable of fixing the world! That's a lot more than _messing with my self-esteem_!"

Metal Mouth approached Norm angrily.

"Maybe I should have been more specific," said Norm nervously.

He knew that if Jarhead was watching, his ability in godparenting would probably be severally doubted. Godparents were supposed to give their godkids great big smiles, not make them lose their confidence. Metal Mouth was his godkid, not his master. And Norm had forgotten that. He hadn't realized that it was a different dynamic, that different things were required of him. He had thought it was just ordinary wish granting, except he was free to do what he wanted.

"Alright, alright," said Norm, "I'm sorry."

Norm was shocked when he realized that he was able to say he was sorry. Metal Mouth had wished for him to only tell the truth. If he weren't actually sorry, he wouldn't have been able to say it. He was sorry, but how? Norm had never been sorry for anything he had done to anyone before.

"You're sorry?" asked Metal Mouth.

"Yep," said Norm, "I'll accompany you the next time you need my help. No vacationing for me!"

That was what Turner's fairies did. Norm assumed that most fairy godparents did that.

"But I thought you'd do your own thing," said Chester suspiciously.

"Nope!" said Norm brightly, faking enthusiasm, "Trust me. It won't be too bad."

By "It won't be too bad." Norm meant that being enslaved would be even worse.

"What will you do with me?"

"How about I tell you the correct way to fix the world?"

* * *

Chester grinned. Norm believed he would be able to fix the world after all.

* * *

"Sure," said Chester, "I need your help."

* * *

The Pixies sent to mess up Chester's wishes were shocked by Norm's display of what seemed to be affection. But that was impossible!

Norm had displayed no soft feelings at Fairy Idol. He ruthlessly competed for the top spot, and got it after a wrecking ball hurt Cosmo and Wanda. He had insulted a ten-year old on stage.

The Pixies didn't expect Norm to apologize to Chester for some previous insult. They certainly didn't expect Norm to offer to help Chester with his wishes.

An emotional connection seemed to be in its infancy. The Pixies needed to abort it, to cut the phone line before the call finished.

They were sure that they were more than capable of doing so. Norm didn't seem to be one for positive emotional connections. He had fifty thousand years of slavery in his past, which they were sure had dug him a great well of resentment. They just had to use it.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I hope I kept Norm and Chester in character. Please tell me if you think they aren't. Even if you don't normally point about that type of thing.


	10. Broken Fixing

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Chapter 10: Broken Fixing **

Chester had got back on his fix-the-world-100% rayon shag magic carpet.

"How do I fix the world?"

"Ya could wish away global warming," said Norm.

Norm knew that was one of the biggest problems known to mankind according to most humans. If he convinced Chester to fix that and granted it well, Jorgen would probably choose him over the Pixies. It would be a good start anyway, he felt.

"I wish global warming didn't exist!"

POOF!

Norm was planning to grant this wish according to the spirit, not the letter, this time, so Jorgen would see how good a godparent he was.

PING!

* * *

The Pixies granted it completely literally.

The Earth froze because it was no longer producing heat.

* * *

Norm looked at it in shock. He didn't intend that (though if one of his _masters_ had wished for it, he would've). Was his magic going wacko?

Norm shapeshifted into a bird. Nope, his figilly gland was going fine, at least.

"Norm, that wasn't what I meant," protested Chester, "I wish the world wasn't frozen."

POOF!

Norm again tried to grant it how Chester meant it.

PING!

All the ice disappeared from Earth.

Norm glanced at his wand in frustration. It wasn't broken. What the heck was wrong?

"Again?" asked Chester, "Norm, what's with you? I _thought _you were trying to HELP me fix the world, not make it worse."

"I was," said Norm in confusion, "It's just that my magic is going wacko."

* * *

Chester knew Norm was telling the truth. He had wished that Norm would always tell the truth. He doubted Norm had outwitted the wish.

* * *

"Next," said Norm, deciding that maybe he should stop bothering with global warming for a while, "Ya should wish away cancer. Lots of people care about curing it."

"I wish cancer didn't exist!'

POOF!

Norm granted the wish exactly how Chester meant it.

* * *

PING!

The Pixies made the star sign Cancer disappear from the sky and all newspapers, magazines, sites and other things containing horoscopes.

* * *

Norm didn't notice that interference because what Chester meant had happened after all.

"My magic works now," said Norm, "Maybe it was just a little malfunction, not a permanent problem."

"What should we fix next?"

"Well," said Norm, "Due to my magic misfire, there is a dearth of ice in the both the Artics."

"I wish there was ice at the Artics," said Chester.

POOF!

* * *

PING!

One microscopic ice cube per Artic appeared at each Artic.

* * *

"Norm?" asked Chester, "Why didn't you grant my wish?"

Norm didn't know why. He knew that when a wish failed (because it was against Da Rules or the fairy's magic was disabled), their wand would make a fart noise. Well, his wand didn't pass gas and he saw no reason for creating ice in the Artic to be against Da Rules, though it was rather like carting nickel to Sudbury. Also, Norm doubted that anyone had caught him in a butterfly net. He would probably have noticed if they had.

The fairy/genie hybrid didn't reply. He didn't want to admit to Chester that he didn't know.

"Norm?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you grant my wish?"

"I can't believe I'm saying this," muttered Norm, "But I have no clue. None! Zip! Nada!"

* * *

Chester was surprised. He thought Norm would know why. Well, he had no clue either.

"Alright," said Norm, "How 'bout ya fix world hunger?"

Norm figured that fixing that problem would earn him some brownie points with Jorgen.

"I wish world hunger didn't exist."

POOF!

* * *

PING!

People in poverty still didn't have any more food than they previously did, but no one (in poverty or not) didn't feel hungry anymore. They still needed food; it's just that they lacked awareness of the fact.

* * *

Chester wondered why he suddenly stopped feeling hungry. Then he remembered his previous wish.

"Norm!" yelled Chester, "You granted it wrong! I didn't mean that people shouldn't feel hungry any more, I meant to wish that everyone had food to eat!"

Norm was shocked by Chester's anger. He had granted it correctly, hadn't he?

"Whaddya mean I granted it wrong?" asked Norm, "I granted it exactly the way you meant it!"

"No, you didn't!"

* * *

The Pixies gazed in triumph at the argument. Their plan seemed to be succeeding. Norm wasn't a threat. How could anyone be a threat if it took him or her fifty thousand years to escape a puny lamp?

* * *

Jorgen watched Chester's wishes cause chaos again. Norm was not a better godparent than the Pixies. Norm was worse. The fact had Norm had more than ten thousand hours granting wishes didn't make him better than the Pixies. Jorgen regretted making that deal with Norm in the first place. However, the deal was two weeks to prove he could be a better godparent than the Pixies. Two weeks hadn't finished yet.

* * *

Norm then realized that yes, indeed, he had granted it wrong. It was lunchtime, yet he wasn't hungry.

"Alright, alright," said Norm, "I granted it wrong. But I can fix it! I'm Norm the Magical Fairy/Genie Hybrid!"

Norm noticed that "Norm the Magical Fairy/Genie Hybrid" lacked the flow of "Norm the Magical Genie." But that was what Chester's cursed, "tell the truth" wish forced him to say. Norm groaned.

"I wish everyone who needed food had food and that people could feel hungry again," said Chester.

POOF!

* * *

The wish was granted exactly as Chester meant it. Chester had made a wish the Pixies couldn't mess up.

* * *

Norm and Chester were glad that the wish worked.

* * *

Jorgen began to reconsider what he previously thought about deciding that Norm would lose his job. Maybe Norm was better than the Pixies. However, he needed two weeks to come to a conclusive decision.

* * *

The Pixies were upset that they couldn't mess up the wish. Norm might beat them after all. However, Norm wasn't Timmy Tiberius Turner. He hadn't saved the world countless times.

Norm's deep well of resentment could also be drawn on. They just needed to convince Norm that Chester was as cold-hearted and stupid as most of Norm's masters. That Chester viewed him as simply a wish-granting object, like a monkey's paw. They also had to convince Chester that Norm was malicious, evil, foul and harmful to young children. That wouldn't be hard. The Pixies' smiled maliciously. They'd rule the world soon!

* * *

"Hey, Chester!" shouted Norm, "Do you wanna go to Dimmsdale Fried Chicken?"

Norm felt like having lunch now and he remembered Crocker's delicious smelling skin after being bathed in DFC's various spices. He wanted fried chicken. He also figured that going to a restaurant with Chester would cause Jorgen to think of him as a better godparent than the Pixies. That was parenting, not just wish-granting. Parents took kids to restaurants sometimes.

"Sure," said Chester, "But how do we afford it? Are you able to POOF up money?"

Norm didn't think about that. He consulted Da Rules. According to Da Rules, POOFing up money is counterfeiting and counterfeiting is bad.

"Like I care," muttered Norm.

"Nope," said Norm, "According to the book of smoof known as Da Rules, POOFing up money is counterfeiting and counterfeiting is bad."

Norm rolled his eyes, "Who knew?"

"Oh," said Chester, feeling disappointed, "Do genies have Rules?"

"Nope," said Norm, than he said bitterly, "Not that kind of Rules anyway. Genies are trapped in magical smoof lamps and who rubs their lamps becomes the genie's master and they have to grant the master's every wish. Masters can use their last wish for three more wishes. Once the third wish is made, magic lamps suck up the nearest source of magic, which usually happens to be the genie."

* * *

Chester wasn't sure what to say. Norm sounded upset. Maybe he shouldn't have asked him that.

"I shouldn't have asked," said Chester, "I didn't think it would upset you. Sorry."

"No," replied Norm, "I'm not upset. That's all behind me now!"

* * *

The Pixies didn't like the turn of events. Chester seemed to care about Norm now. That couldn't be happening. Norm wasn't acting like the sociopath he seemed to be when competing in Fairy Idol. The Pixies wondered if Norm genuinely had a softer side. Probably not. Norm did seem to be a genius, capable of saying any lie and being believed, faking any emotion in existence.

They played the movie that they had grafted together from the Timmy-cam's Norm scenes. It only contained scenes of Norm being obviously cruel. They doubted Chester was great at getting subtlety.

* * *

Jorgen Von Strangle didn't expect Norm to offer to go the DFC with Chester. He had thought that Norm had read Da Rules. Apparently, he skipped a few sections.

Jorgen remembered that Chester lived in poverty. Maybe Norm did that because he had a noble heart. Jorgen remembered how ruthless Norm was in Fairy Idol. Insulting a ten-year old kid on television was not a sign of a noble heart.

Jorgen supposed Norm could have just done it to get brownie points with him then. Then, he figured, that was certainly a fail. Jorgen would think higher of Norm if he actually read Da Rules. Jorgen prioritized Da Rules over most other things after all.

* * *

"How 'bout you wish for lunch?" suggested Norm, "Please, nothing gross though. I don't want to eat trash or rats."

Norm had checked Da Rules. There was nothing against that. Just a Rule against wishing for breakfast after 10:30 (which was why Turner had wished for a ham-and-cheese omelet for his first genie wish.)

"Alright," said Chester, "I wish we had pizza!"

POOF!

Norm and Chester both got pizza, on a plate.

* * *

PING!

The Pixies put it all on Chester's plate.

* * *

"Traintrack teeth," said Norm, "The pizza isn't just yours, you know! Ya aren't my master anymore, remember?"

"I didn't take it!"

"Well," said Norm, "How 'bout how look at your plate, then?"

Chester looked at it.

"Lots of pizza," said Chester, eating the pizza, "I have a lot of pizza. What's your problem?"

"Well then," said Norm, "How 'bout you look at mine?"

Chester looked at Norm's plate. No pizza.

"I didn't steal it though," said Chester.

Norm thought about it. Chester didn't seem to be the type to steal stuff from his godparent though he was a friend of Mr. Timothy Torture-A-Lot. Chester did try to fix the world after all. All other humans preferred to rule it instead.

"Alright," said Norm, "Ya didn't. Sorry!"

Again, Norm had apologized to Chester. Why was he able to say "sorry" to Chester twice? How was he able to really, honestly mean it?

"Okay," said Chester, "I wish you had pizza."

POOF!

Pizza appeared on a plate, in front of Norm.

* * *

The Pixies were frustrated. Norm and Chester didn't hate each other yet. They had messed up Chester's wishes, but Norm and Chester resolved it every time. Norm even was sorry for being mean to Chester. Where was the uncaring sociopath they wanted him to be? Chester would never believe he was evil at this rate.

* * *

Jorgen didn't expect Norm to do such good conflict resolution with Chester. Did Norm care about Chester or was it just an act to remain a godparent? Jorgen didn't know, but he suspected the latter.

* * *

After the incidents he and Chester had with the wishes, Norm wondered if Jorgen would let him continue being a godparent and remain free. The Pixies had granted wishes perfectly though, on the video. Norm couldn't beat that, could he? If he couldn't, he'd be Chester's slave, not his godparent and Chester knew all the genie laws. Chester could exploit him any way he wanted, for however long he wanted if he lost his job.

Norm blanched. He didn't trust Chester not to do that. He didn't trust Chester at all. Even if he was sorry for being mean to him. Norm knew that if he trusted anyone; he'd just get hurt and exploited.

* * *

Chester wondered why Norm seemed upset. Maybe being a genie wasn't behind him in the metaphorical sense after all. Chester decided not to think about it. He was going to continue fixing the world after lunch anyway! Maybe Norm would cheer up by them!

* * *

**Author's Note**: I hope I kept Norm and Chester in character. Please tell me if you think they aren't. Even if you don't normally point about that type of thing.


	11. Sadness in Prison

**Disclaimer: **Can't believe I have to say this again, but I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **I've decided that I'll write a sequel for this fic, when I'm finished. I had an idea for it. Also, this fanfic is pre-Timmy/Tootie, in a way. A bit higher than if-you-squint, but not at the level of Timmy-and-Tootie-are-in-a-relationship, if you get one I mean. Should I warn for it or not? Concrit is appreciated.

* * *

**Chapter 11: Sadness in Prison**

Since their wedding, Cosmo and Wanda had only been apart three or so times. Cosmo had realized how sad life was without her the first time, when they had to split up to make sure both Timmy in Doidle's body and Doidle in Timmy's were safe. Cosmo had looked through his address book and realized that only Wanda's name was in it, albeit a hundred times or so.

Cosmo missed her an equal amount this time. He had screamed himself hoarse crying for Wanda, despite the fact he knew the Pixies had caught her. He wanted to beat up those freaks for capturing her! They were not like corn. They were not good.

* * *

Wanda wondered if Cosmo was safe. She was trapped in a complex butterfly net prison, with hundreds of fairies. Cosmo was not one of those hundreds. The Pixies had PINGed away all sharp objects near the fairies and had magically clipped their nails, leaving them no obvious ways to escape. Moreover, in case any fairy found a way to do so, they had set lots of alarms, which would go off as soon as the fairy escaped. Escaping would be a tricky business for sure and Wanda didn't feel like risking it yet.

* * *

Timmy wondered whether Tootie becoming his fairy godparent and getting taken away was a dream. Timmy figured it wasn't. If he was dreaming, Trixie Tang would have been a mermaid and there'd be dozens of her and he'd be dating them all.

Therefore, Tootie the fairy was not a dream. Tootie was a fairy. She had become his godparent, illegally obviously, since the muscle-bound fairy that took her said she was going to Abracatraz, which sounded like the name of a prison. Tootie must have been brave, to become his godparent illegally. Maybe, Trixie wasn't the only girl worth dating after all (though she was still worth dating, if he could even get her, which didn't seem to be happening any time soon). Maybe, Tootie wasn't as creepy as he previously thought.

* * *

Anti-Cosmo was jealous of the other Anti-Fairies. They were causing bad luck on Earth and he, their leader, was still in prison. He knew that if he escaped, Jorgen Von Strangle would trap him in a harder-to-escape prison, but he still yearned for the freedom to roam the skies, causing bad luck willy-nilly. He reminded himself that by staying in prison, he'd get more freedom later. A darker version of a common philosophy about responsibly.

* * *

Tootie was angry at the buff fairy for stealing her from Timmy and imprisoning her. She finally was helping him, and yet she still was treated like a creepy stalker. Timmy needed her, she was sure, and she wanted to be with him!

* * *

Timmy felt very happy at school that day. Francis was gone so he no longer got daily beatings. Crocker wasn't there, and the substitute was nice and sane. He actually _learned_ from her. Crocker's craziness had made his ability to teach practically non-existant.

When he got home, he found that his parents were going out and had hired a nicer babysitter. Vicky had quit working for the Turner's after the embarrassment (which she said that she had too many of) and was now working for another family. Timmy pitied whoever had ended up with her. Vicky was a misery.

* * *

Jorgen showed Tootie the video of Timmy's happiness.

"TURNER IS HAPPY! HE DOES NOT NEED YOU! HE MISTREATED HIS PREVIOUS GODPARENTS! DID YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN TO YOU?"

"He wouldn't!" yelled Tootie, "Timmy is kind and brave! I wished for the stuff that made him happy anyway! So there!"

Tootie did want Timmy, but she was glad he was happy. Even if he didn't need her.

* * *

Jorgen didn't care about what Tootie thought. Timmy had mistreated his fairies. They had quit. Tootie had disobeyed Da Rules. Nothing else mattered to Jorgen when Da Rules got involved.


	12. Invincix Pix

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**A/N: **Constructive criticism is welcome.

* * *

**Chapter 12: Invincix Pix **

Molly did not want to be godparented by a Pixie. The Pixies had taken Swizzle from her. She cared about Swizzle; she didn't care about the Pixies. She wanted Swizzle; she didn't want a Pixie.

"I wish I was an adult," said Molly.

She knew kids lost their godparents when they turned eighteen or became an adult in any other manner.

PING!

Molly became an adult. The Pixie was still there. She decided to test if it could still grant her wishes.

"I wish I had a chocolate shake."

PING!

Her wish was granted. That was impossible. Godparents couldn't grant wishes to adults. At least fairies couldn't. Maybe Pixies could. She had to try another method.

"I wish I was a kid again," she said, than called, "Vicky, I just got a million bucks!"

* * *

Vicky, her babysitter, dashed up the stairs. She liked money just as much as she loved torturing people.

* * *

"I wish you wouldn't shapeshift," said Molly to the Pixie, "Or hide in any other way."

PING!

The Pixie didn't shapeshift. Vicky opened Molly's door with a crash and spotted the Pixie.

"Hi Vicky, this is my Pixie Godparent," said Molly, "He grants my wishes."

Molly noticed that Vicky did look at the Pixie and her ears weren't plugged, but the Pixie wasn't getting taken away. Molly groaned.

"Where's my–I mean your million bucks?"

"No where," said Molly, "I wish monkeys were the dominant species on Earth."

PING!

* * *

Monkeys became the dominant species on Earth and a kids show theme song-ish thing played.

* * *

However, Molly found herself still with the Pixie. Obviously, that Rule didn't apply to the Pixies either.

"I'm happy and don't need my godparents anymore," said Molly.

Nothing happened. Molly blinked. Nothing. She groaned in frustration. Why was the Pixie so dang hard to remove. Were they even true godparents? Did they follow any of Da Rules?

"I wish you could shapeshift again and that your head became a toilet and that I was on it and that you did all my homework while tortured with fire and various medieval torture devices while giving me lots cake and cookies and that you were doomed to eternal misery and that I was popular and had every doodad ever owned by anyone popular and that the sky was purple and blood-flavored ice cream that acts like acid rain rained from it," said Molly.

She was out of breath by the end of the long run-on sentence. She hoped that she had tortured it enough for Court or for it to quit. Nothing happened. The Pixie was just as unemotional as ever. Swizzle would be raging at her if she ever did that to her. Pixies truly were the perfect ones to do the evil plan she was convinced they were up to.

"I wish I had a Fairy Duel with another kid with a Pixie godparent."

"Invalid," said the Pixie, "Pixies do not engage in Fairy Dueling."

Duh, thought Molly, They were business-focused dullards and they were not fairies. Therefore, if they engaged in Dueling, which they wouldn't, it would be called Pixie Dueling, not Fairy Dueling. Then Molly thought back to her second-to-last wish. It could have unintended results and hurt people. She couldn't have that!

"I wish every part of my second-to-last wish that would hurt people other than you was undid and that everything affected by it was back to normal."

PING!

Molly had failed, but she had learned something from it. The Pixies were Godparent Da Rules-free godparents, just like genies. The contract was a sham. She should never have signed it and couldn't believe the Pixies had persuaded her to (though they did use pain to persuade her; oh what brilliant godparents they'd be, hurting their own kid.)

* * *

Head Pixie gazed at the screen in the Pixie version of disappointment. Molly had tried to lose her Pixie godparent. That could never do.

"Delete the tape," said the Pixie monotonously, yet in a commanding manner, "Bob, disguise yourself as Swizzle and erase Molly's memories of what happened."

PING!

* * *

Molly's Pixie disguised himself as Swizzle and PINGed up Forgeticin and used it on Molly. A Pixie in the Pixie office building cam center erased the tape.

* * *

Head Pixie felt triumphant, in a Pixie way. No one could stop them. Molly, Tootie, Wanda, Cosmo, Norm, Timmy and anyone else who tried to defeat them, won against them previously or was a random bystander of no importance would not stop this plan, he was sure. The Pixies were invincible and they would rule a gray, dull, boring, business universe, regardless of what anyone one else thought or wanted. Everyone would become a suck-up to him, Head Pixie, the Head of the Universe and all it's businesses.

A Pixie version of a smile crossed his face. Victory was near!


	13. Fun Interrupted

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Constructive criticism welcomed. Please tell me if anyone is out of character.

* * *

**Chapter 13: Fun Interrupted **

"Norm, what should we do next?"

"How about ya come with me and have fun?"

Norm was tired of fixing the world, though he did enjoy Chester's company.

"Okay," said Chester, "But are you sure the world doesn't need anymore help?"

"Eliminated global warming: check; saved various rare species from extinction: check; eliminated world hunger: check; created world peace: check; cured cancer and various other fatal diseases: check," said Norm, "Yeah, I think the world's alright."

"What a relief," said Chester.

POOF!

Chester and Norm appeared at a go-kart race. Norm POOFed them into go-karts.

* * *

The Pixies watched this in triumph. They knew exactly what to do.

PING!

Chester got a new button in his go-kart. He pressed it curiously and his go-kart went supersonic.

* * *

Norm was confused. Go-karts couldn't do that. Chester was either:

A) cheating

B) in serious danger

C) both

Norm opted for either B or C.

"Metal Mouth!" yelled Norm, POOFing out of his go-kart.

He had to save Chester or Jorgen would fire him. Yeah, and he kinda liked the kid.

POOF!

Chester appeared, out of his go-kart.

"Metal Mouth, what were ya thinking?" scolded Norm, "Were you even thinking? Ya could have gotten killed. If ya wanted to win, surely ya could have tried to do it in a fair, safe way."

"Sorry," said Chester, "And I wasn't trying to win. I heard a PINGing sound and a button appeared. I was curious, so I pressed it. Do godparents do everything that human parents do?"

PINGing sound. Pixies. They had been sabotaging the wishes. Norm bet that the Pixies had an evil plan to rule the world and make it dull and boring.

"The PINGing sound was produced by Pixie magic. I don't know everything godparents are supposed to do and not do. I'm new to this, you know."

"What are Pixies?"

"Pixies are floating, freaky yawnfests that what to turn the world into a dull, business-themed one ruled by them," said Norm.

"What?" asked Chester, "That's horrible."

"I know," Norm deadpanned.

* * *

The Pixies were the Pixie version of distraught. Norm had told Chester what they were and Chester said they were horrible. They supposed that it would be hard for them to convince Chester of how sociopath-like Norm was, now that Norm had saved Chester and Chester had dissed them.

"Let's go do something else," suggested Chester.

Norm POOFed them to a baseball game.

"Cool!" shouted Chester, then in a normal tone of voice, "I love baseball, but I stink at playing it."

"Don't feel too bad," replied Norm, "I could help you get better at it."

"Sure," said Chester, "You are a great godparent."

Norm smiled. Chester thought he was a great godparent. Jarhead would let him keep his job for sure.

PING!

Floating figures dressed in business suits appeared. Pixies!

"Chester, you are wrong," said one monotonously, "Norm has done some awful things to your friend, Timmy Tiberius Turner."

"He wouldn't!" protested Chester, "He saved me!"

"He would," said the other Pixie, "Do you remember how long it took him to pay attention to you?"

"Yes," said Chester, "But he said sorry."

"He said sorry," mocked the Pixie, "We Pixies know of stuff he did that he isn't sorry for."

* * *

The Pixie played the video. Norm watched every instance of being mean to Turner that the Pixies had managed to tape. Watching it from the outside changed it for Norm. He saw a ten year-old being picked on by a genie, not a genie trying to escape his lamp and being hindered by an idiot human. Norm thought of what the Pixies had did to him and Chester, and realized that he had done the same to Turner and his fairies. Norm still didn't like Turner now, but he had been a jerk to Turner before and he realized it now.

Chester looked at his godparent and felt angry. Norm had hurt his best friend. There was no way Chester was gonna let that slide!

"Norm, you hurt my best friend!" shouted Chester, "I should have never trusted you!"

Norm groaned. He'd get fired for sure.

"Chester, Chester, I'm sorry," said Norm.

"Sorry?" asked Chester, "You hurt my best friend and that's all you can say–sorry?"

"Yep," said Norm nervously, "Anyway, there's a bigger threat here. The Pixies. They aren't sorry."

"Alright," said Chester, "But I won't forget what you did to my friend."

Norm guessed he'd never be able to keep his job.

BOOM!

Norm and Chester appeared in Fairy Court. Norm was very familiar with the place, due to being called to it after various escape attempts and other things. He had met Fairy Mason there and had the lost the case to him, though he did obtain _The Big Book of Legal Loophole Humor_ there. That book helped teach him how to mess up his master's wishes in truly awesome ways and get out of contracts and helped him win court cases so he wouldn't get shoved in Abracatraz.

"THE CASE OF CHESTER MCBADBAT AND THE PIXIES VERSUS NORM THE FAIRY/GENIE HYBRID IS NOW IN SESSION!"


	14. Fairy Court

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Fairly OddParents._

**Author's Note: **Concrit welcomed, particularly on characterization.

* * *

**Chapter 14: Fairy Court**

"I CALL TO THE STAND: NORM THE FAIRY/GENIE HYBRID."

Norm sat in the witness chair and Jorgen started reading from his yellow legal pad.

"Norm the Fairy/Genie Hybrid, is it true that you tried to hurt Timmy Tiberius Turner and verbally abused him?"

Norm tried to remember the jokes in _The Big Book of Legal Loophole Humor. _He figured that if he could find a loophole, he could get himself out of a jail sentence and the Pixies into one.

"Yeah, I did. I plead guilty," said Norm, "but the Pixies don't have qualms about hurting kids either."

"THE PIXIES ARE NOT RELEVANT!"

"Nope, Jarhead, the Pixies are relevant," said Norm, "they told Chester about what I did to Turner. After they nearly killed Chester! Wanna see?"

POOF!

A window appeared in the air, showing Norm and Chester's go-kart race. Again, Norm saw the Pixies PING the button onto the go-kart. Norm saw himself save Chester and wondered why there couldn't be any dames watching. Heroics always impressed the ladies.

"Don't attempt to distract the court, filthy genie," replied Jorgen, "you are going to Abracatraz."

"Well, Jarhead, I already know that," said Norm, feeling irritated, "but do you think I care? The Pixies will be imprisoned and they won't be able to destroy fun and turn the world into their boring dystopia! My godkid won't have to deal with assassination attempts from pointy-headed, floating freaks!"

* * *

The entire court was shocked by Norm's outburst. It was such non-legal behavior.

"If you can't behave politely in court and attempt to distract us," boomed Jorgen, "you will go to Abracatraz!"

"Hey!" yelled Chester, "that's unfair. He was trying to protect me!"

Norm's heart lifted. Chester was defending him. For once, he didn't need to do everything on his own.

"Thanks, kid," said Norm, "though, I thought you were mad at me for hurting Turner."

"I was and kinda still am," replied Chester, "but you said were sorry and you're better than those Pixie freaks. You like to have fun and you did help me fix the world. Thanks, Norm or should I say god-dad?"

"I prefer Norm," replied Norm, "Thanks again, kid."

"I did not command the witness to speak!" shouted Jorgen.

"He did speak though," said a juror, "He seems to have solid evidence. Chester, is it true that the Pixies attempted to kill you?"

"Yes, they PINGed a button into my go-kart and I pressed it. The button caused it to go supersonic. I'd be dead right now if Norm hadn't saved me."

* * *

The Pixies felt the Pixie versions of shock and horror. Norm had directed the court into prosecuting them instead of him.

"The evidence matches up," said the jurors, "Since, Timmy Tiberius Turner has no memory of Norm, he cannot confirm that Norm verbally abused and attempted to hurt him. However, Chester can confirm that the Pixies attempted to kill him and he did. Norm and Chester win! The Pixies lose!"

Norm and Chester smiled in triumph.

"But Norm is a filthy genie," protested Jorgen, "No one would let a filthy genie win in court."

"Nope, I'm a filthy fairy/genie hybrid. The Pixies are pointy-headed freaks and you were letting them win before," replied Norm triumphantly, "and if no one would let a filthy genie win in court, the court is rigged."

"Alright, Norm and Chester win!"

Norm grinned. He could continue godparenting Chester. He wouldn't be trapped in Abracatraz or enslaved. He had won!

* * *

Jorgen trapped the Pixies in Abracatraz, after freeing the Pixies' prisoners. Fairies returned to their godkids, causing lots of happiness for both the kids and fairies. Timmy didn't get his back though, since his fairies had quit and fairies that quit couldn't continue godparenting and their kid wouldn't be allowed to have fairies again.

Tootie and Cosmo weren't set free, since they had broke Da Rules. Jorgen was very strict about Da Rules.

Anti-Cosmo wasn't freed either, but he had a bazooka in his cage and now that the Pixies were imprisoned, he could escape without aiding anyone's else's evil plans. But, that's another story…

* * *

**Author's Note: **I bet you can see loose ends. They'll be taken care of in the sequel. As the last sentence says:

_But, that's another story…_


End file.
